Well hello I love you!

So yesterday was probably one of the biggest days I have had in taking steps forward in my career in years.
I submitted my first single for release, posted my very first blog post, and took my very first vocal lesson.
All in all it was a really great, and emotional day.

Later that night I found myself kind of stirring in bed feeling strange…
I was uncomfortable, hot, sweaty, and almost a little angry for some reason.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until this morning. I was feeling truly vulnerable again.

Living on your edge in your craft/career puts you in a whirlwind of creative. and potentially volatile energy.
And I am remembering that if you don’t balance yourself out and pull back into your body to ground, you get stuck in that energy.
Today me and my friend were working on new content and while I was doing that I was working out some original songs on my loop pedal.
I got really swept up in it and was dripping sweat by the end. And had a funk that we classified as “Creative Stank”.
I think what I was feeling last night could also be classified as “Creative Stank”.
We do out best to be a fluid conduit for the divine energy we need to create.
Doing so is an exhilarating process that feels fantastic, I call it the “Writers High”.
We have satisfied something deep within our soul that longs to tap into that well.
We have also satisfied our ego, which likes to claim these creations as our “own”
*Enter “Creative Stank”*
But when you are done, it is important to remember that we are not our creations.
We are human and being, and the human side of us is fragile to some extent, and is constantly looking for validation.

For myself, I believe that our worth is intrinsic.
We deserve love just because we exist.
And we are no more important if we create something that someone (including ourselves) classifies as “Great”.

As I embark on this next chapter I am really deploying large amounts of awareness for myself and my emotions.
I used to act on emotions rather than watch and understand them.
If we’re going to be the best conduit we can be, we need to make sure we clean out that “Creative Stank” after the process.
And remember that we are still a wonderful human that is equally as worthy of love before, during, and after our creative process.

Side note!
I am so incredibly grateful for the massive outreach of support from my video and blog post I shared yesterday.
I truly put them both out there with no expectations, just love, and the love I received was definitely recognized.
You are all so wonderful.
Let me know what you think, and if I can do anything to help you!

With unconditional love, always.

– Matthew