I recently shared a post on social media going over the journey it took to finally release my first single in over 6 years.
In that time, I lived on an island where a volcano was erupting while I battled depression.
Moved my entire life to Seattle to make a go at music again.
Hit pause on all of that when I found out my fathers cancer was terminal.
Was blindsided by the end of a long-term relationship.
And then moved back to New England to spend what I thought would be the last year of my fathers life with him, but what actually turned out to be about 2 months.
I grieved, and continue to.
I briefly contemplated/attempted suicide, and finally hit part of my rock bottom on new years eve, more on that to come.
I filled my schedule up with cooking, construction, and music.
I spiraled, and got a DUI.
I quit drinking permanently and started a phase of growth that would finally break me out of a self-sabotaging cycle I had run in for the majority of my life.
I lost friends, a lot of them. I made a few new, and true ones.
And today I submitted my first original musical release in over 6 years.
The emotion hit me like a train. I curled up in my bed and started inexplicably crying.
There are a probably thousands of songs that reference ‘the good ole days’ or how you don’t really understand what a moment is until it has passed.
This was not one of those moments.
The gravity I felt with that click was monumental. It was the culmination of so much growth, pain, love, and healing.
In a second I knew exactly what this was. It was the metaphoric closing of one chapter, and starting of the next.
It was walking through the doorway of one world and into another.
It was closure. And it still reverberates through my bones in this very moment.
I don’t know truly what happens with this song. And I honestly don’t care. I released it for me.
I released it for the boy who wanted to sing silly songs from the heart his whole life.
For the boy who sat in a dark basement on new years eve, not sure if he was strong enough to carry on.
And for the man who walked out.
This song is a reminder to myself, to never forget who I am.
And to never minimize the journey we all take to get there.
That’s my 2 – Cents. And there will be plenty more where that came from.
Stay tuned folks, it’s going to be a hell of a ride.
Love you ❤